My friend Lorella has a major hang-up about people going out dressed similarly. Obviously you don't head out with your friend both in strapless red dresses, I get it, but sometimes she goes overboard with the sartorial twinsy anxiety. Like, as I've already mentioned, when it comes to Converse. In her mind, we need to get all panicky and weird even if we're both wearing Converse. Which is dumb. And we have argued about this. Because they're ubiquitous, Converse. And it's your bum-around shoe, the Converse. If there's ever any shoe that suggests that no thought went into the wearing of it, it would be Converse. When two people end up in Converse at the same place at the same time, every time I'm NOT going to assume it was deliberate. After all, who would plan to wear Converse TOGETHER on purpose?

The Fedora, on the other hand, well the Fedora is not the Converse.

Here are Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux leaving their NY apartment the other day, both wearing fedoras. I can't even imagine how stressed out Lorella is right now looking at these photos. She's probably making her nails bleed right now, trembling under her desk.

Are they so f-cking in love that they have to tell it to us through their fedoras?

As you're leaving the house, don't you look at each other and say, oh is that what you're wearing?, and then laugh and then one of you offers to take it off?
That's what you'd do if you were aware of these observations, the observations made by people like Lorella and me, and wish to avoid the attention. Then again, when has Jennifer Aniston avoided attention?

Or do they just not care?

They wanted to wear their hats. And they're so secure in their L-O-V-E that they don't give a sh-t what we think. So to prove that they don't give a sh-t what we think, they're both keeping their fedoras on goddammit if you don't like it Lorella, you're just a hater!

But isn't the very act of proving you don't give a sh-t the very essence of giving a sh-t?

Or...

Are they just travelling and didn't want their hats crushed in the luggage?

Now I feel like Vizzini in the Princess Bride during the Game of Wits.