What?

They yelled at me last week, the Jennifer Aniston fans, for daring to suggest that she’d introduce her big ass ring to the world just as Brad Pitt was about to release his Chanel No5 ad. Have you seen it yet? I ...don’t want to see it ever again. I don’t want to see him so uncool -- the word works surprisingly well on several levels here -- ever again. If you missed it, be warned and click here.

Would she have gone to all the trouble, Jen, if she’d known how sh-t his Chanel would be?

Would she have shown up on Chelsea Lately last night for an interview about... her personal life? It’s not like she was there promoting a movie. But it was her first time on television wearing Justin Theroux’s career on her finger and she happily allowed Chelsea to masturbate all over their engagement, describing Jen and Justin as the perfect couple, congratulating her on finding the perfect man, and on, and on, with only slightly less enthusiasm than she has when she’s calling Angelina Jolie a f-cking c-nt. Hard work should definitely be rewarded, non? Jen should totally make Chelsea a bridesmaid.

God it’s been forever since the Pitts gave us some Porn. Maybe we’ll get a flash of it this week, if they’re so inclined to step out of that French castle and throw some sit DOWN back in Jen’s face. Oh Immortal Triangle...