The Top Story on yesterday afternoon was “Jennifer Aniston’s Foodie Tour of Connecticut.” 

Of course I clicked because Jennifer Aniston and food are things I don’t normally associate with each other. Not that I think she doesn’t eat – her personal chefs (yes, plural) have been profiled by Oprah, even getting teary-eyed about how amazing it is to work for Jennifer. Click here for a refresher.

But now that Jen’s far from the comforts of LA, on location in the North East, she’s branching out of her culinary comfort zone. With… chicken. At eleven14 Kitchen, she had a salad appetizer and grilled Amish chicken with onions and potatoes for her entrée. Really? This is a foodie tour? This is not a foodie tour. This is a Tuesday night dinner that requires zero effort or pre-planning. This is a “f-ck this has been in the fridge a few days, better cook it” meal. If you invite me to your house for dinner and serve me a chicken breast (not to be confused with roast chicken) I know that you really don’t care for me.

What Jen saved in food calories however she made up for in booze with gin and tonics (subtext: she’s not pregnant). She may be boring to eat with, but she would be fun to drink with. Gin and tonics drinkers tend to laugh a lot and be super relaxed. She’s definitely the type to hold her drink up while she flips her hair.

The story goes on to chronicle her Valentine’s Day dinner with Justin Theroux, which consisted of a fancy-named tre coloré salad (baby arugula, radicchio, and balsamic vinaigrette – total snooze) and Parmesan-crusted sole. A bit better but it’s hardly ox tongue or stinky cheese. This was an Italian restaurant – I wonder if they had gnocci, which is my favourite and so hard to make that I only eat my mom’s because restaurants hardly ever get it right.

But I guess this is wild and crazy for a woman who reportedly ate the same salad every day on set for 10- years – a healthy version of a Cobb with turkey bacon and garbanzo beans, according to Courtney Cox. Look at her body – that discipline has certainly paid off.

So salad as an appetizer, always, is a necessity. No scallops. Or crab cakes. How about a shrimp cocktail? Out of the question. In Hollywood, or at PEOPLE Magazine, and how they report the celebrity news for a certain demo, that is apparently all you need to constitute to “foodie tour”.

Here’s the complete opposite of that: Last time Lainey and I went for lunch we split a rainbow roll, lettuce wraps, mushroom soup and miso ramen. Yes, we ate two soups in one sitting.

Imagine how much fun Jen’s chefs would have cooking for us?

Attached -- Jen on set the other day while Justin walks around NYC.