Taupe and Violet out and about today… and is it just me or is Jennifer Garner a little bigger ‘round the bust area? Jennifer Garner isn’t known for being chesty. These photos should give the bump nuts even more reason to flap, non?

Once again, to reiterate, she and Ben Affleck are fine. No divorce. And not the way Madge and Guy say “no divorce” but really, actually, no divorce.

But enough of her parents…how about little Violet? You know me. I’m the asshole who hates kids. Like we were on a plane last week and four of them surrounded us crying the whole time and I’ll admit, I’m the shrew who was muttering “shut your kid up!” under my breath.

Sorry. I know it’s wrong. I know you mothers hate bitches like me. I’m an evil excuse for a woman. My mother’s mahjong must have contaminated any ounce of baby-loving goodness in my constitution. But at least I’m not raising one…although to bring it back to Violet, I’d raise one if it made like she does and smiles all day for the paparazzi and helped my career. Smiling and looking adorable…period. No screaming, no wanting, no needing, no hanging off of you for years and then growing up and asking for money with nothing in return, and dating bad men, and keeping you up at night worrying over their shenanigans…

I suppose I could handle one of those.

Do they exist?

Photos from Flynetonline.com