This dress was an asshole.

I mean…

The glitter shawl.

Is she poor?

Middle aged bride?

Arlene’s Dress Emporium?

Nope. It’s Zuhair Murad. Which, when I found out, didn’t surprise me. I have never liked a Zuhair Murad. You know who wears a lot of Zuhair Murad?

Two names:

Carrie Underwood and Miley Cyrus.

So. That explains it. It explains a lot, actually.

Because JLo is judging American Idol now. So we’re catering to a new audience. The kind of audience that would appreciate the tricked out scrunchie she’s working at the back of her head. It may as well be a scrunchie, right?

Would JLo wear the same thing to the afterparty?

What a dumb question.

Of course she changed for the afterparty.

She changed into short feathers.

Don’t lie. I won’t lie. I’ll be watching Idol. I’ll watch the first two audition episodes and the first two live show episodes. And this is exactly why I’m watching Idol. She’ll change every commercial break. Wardrobe, hair, AND makeup.

But goddamn that white gown was an asshole.

Photos from and Jason Merritt/