Jennifer Lopez, Keith Urban, and Harry Connick Jr are shooting the Hollywood round of the upcoming season of American Idol this week. The show’s keeping her paid until Spring 2015. And then, I guess, she starts working on the Vegas show? No confirmation has happened yet, but I can’t imagine they’d waste that announcement when there’s nothing else to co-promote. Like a movie. And she does have a movie coming out early in the New Year. The Boy Next Door opens at the end of January. Which means they could very likely ask her to present at the Golden Globes. Because she’s an awards show favourite. And the Hollywood Foreign Press Association would want her there, they of course would want her there. Gone Girl will probably be there too…

That gets me worried.

Because she’s been so good about not replacing Slum Bear Casper Smart. What’s it been now, about 3 months, 4 months? JLO usually can’t go too long without falling in love (again). You think she can last out the year? You don’t need a date to the Golden Globes!

In other JLO news, she posted this photo to Instagram yesterday:


Doesn’t exist.

I went swimwear shopping the other day because we’re going on holiday this weekend to Punta Cana. Trying on bikinis is the worst. It f-cking sucks the most balls and ass of all time, ever. Sasha told me, beforehand, to only get the bottoms with the ties on the hips because they’re adjustable and that means you don’t have to get new ones if you go up a size every year, which is my life now. Also the ones without ties cut into your flesh too hard. I’m most excited about the cover-ups.

Look at her though, JLO. She’s hunched over! She’s slouching!