Don’t ask me what award they gave Jennifer Lopez at the PEOPLE Magazine Awards. If you’re asking me it’s because you think it matters. Let’s just call it a MiniVan Majority ass-kiss and a fashion show, OK?

Duana, Lorella, and I had a three-way text going about this last night because of JLO’s jumpsuit. In some of the shots that PEOPLE put up first on their site, right in her crotch area, it kinda looks like a wet spot. Because we hadn’t seen it from any other angles, we were trying to figure out if it was lighting or bush.

Neither.

The pattern of the beading changes right in that triangle – can you see that? If you stare at it long enough, it kinda looks like the triangle is becoming a diamond. Fitting, non?

And before you start yelling at me about this not being appropriate, the outfit was designed this way. When you make a creative decision like that to adjust the material in a certain area, the eye is drawn to that area. Isn’t that visual arts 101?