But first...

Jennifer Lopez has finally confirmed, after going back and forth and back and forth and cockteasing everyone for weeks because, whatever she is, she knows how to extend a headline, that she will not be returning as a judge to American Idol. JLo called Seacrest today to put an end to the speculation. “The Time Has Come.” Like she’s Muhammad Ali announcing his retirement or something. As IF.


She wanted too much money and they wouldn’t pay her. Also, she apparently wants to go back to working on movies. According to a Deadline source:

“She wants to do movies. She’s expecting her team to deliver.”

Look, there’s no question people want to see JLo on the tv on the tv show about the people who want to be the singers. Because they don’t have to leave their house. But will they get off the couch for JLo at the cinema?

Her last two live action movies were The Back-up Plan and What To Expect When You’re Expecting. I’m just saying Out Of Sight was a long time ago. And, really, as much as she wants it, Jennifer Lopez will not be playing Anastasia in the film adaptation of Fifty Shades Of Grey although that’s probably exactly what she and Casper will do for the theme of her next music video because they really are that f-cking predictable.

Speaking of Casper...

He just posted this photo of them together on his Twitter with the caption:

“Me and the Bear wake-boarding in Long Beach... Got up her 1st try...”

She calls him Bear. He calls her Bear back.


Goddamn her slum loving will not stop being gross for me. Ever. Never.

(Also, I got up on my first try wake-boarding too. And I am extremely uncoordinated. So if I can do it... Wake-boarding isn’t hard at all. Water-skiing is the one that’s the challenge.) 

JLo’s birthday is happening next week. She is not scheduled to perform that day (July 24). Three nights before she’s in New Jersey and the next night she’s in Boston.

Please Bear, will you marry the Bear?