She may not be – in my opinion – one of the 10 Most Fascinating People of 2010. She may not have the career momentum she once did. She still cannot sing.

But is Jennifer Lopez deviant?

As you know, JLo has been fighting her ex husband Ojani Noa who wants to profit from the release of personal videos recorded while they were married. Needless to say, he’s not down with making a living the conventional way. Even though he’s still prohibited from distributing the footage, his rep is trying to publicise it in an attempt to increase its value. So that if and when the courts decide Noa can legally exploit his former wife, they’ll be able to negotiate a huge fee.

What’s the scandal?

"JLo is riding a scooter in public in Cuba, while talking to the camera and numerous by-standers, with her privates in as plain view as Paris Hilton, Brittany Spears and Lindsay Lohan have in the past. This is among other nudity on her part in the now 21 hours of home movies, that we have so far recovered. In Noa's Home Videos, Lopez displays deviant behavior by consensually exposing her genital area in public, however, Noa & Meyer have never ever intended to market this and the many other racy, damaging & expositive scenes from the Home Videos. It must also be stated that in Noa's Home Videos, Lopez gives her full consent to Noa taping her." (Ojani Noa’s rep)

What the f-ck?

Deviant???

No she’s not deviant. She’s stupid for marrying him, yes, but she’s not deviant. Getting naked with your spouse doesn’t qualify as deviant. She’s not Britney, Ebola, or Lindsay either. And it’s reprehensible to extort a woman while accusing her of being a degenerate just because she trusted the wrong person.

You know what I hate?

I hate defending celebrities.I have being put in a position where I have to defend a celebrity. I prefer calling them out on their bullsh-t. Because there’s a LOT of bullsh-t to be called out. It’s assholes like Ojani Noa though who make it possible for celebrities to keep playing the Victim card. This enables the readers of People Magazine. We all lose.

Here’s Jennifer Lopez with Denzel Washington yesterday at the Boys and Girls Club of America announcement that she’s now the National Spokesperson. As you can see, she’s as fit and as tight as ever, even though her wigs seem to be getting faker and faker. By the time Idol gets to the fourth week, I wonder if her hair will be so big, it’ll box out the other two judges.

But let me talk about these shoes for a minute, these stars and their shoes. These are Brian Atwood. Colour = Nude. Style = Maniac. Because they’re a full 6 inches. Crazy. I know this because I just bought the same pair 2 weeks ago. I’ve attached a shot of them next to my wand that I posted on Twitter a couple of weeks ago when I wore them to host an event.

I am normally a size 8. Lately I’ve been buying 8 ½ because it’s just more comfortable when your feet swell. I have regular feet. They’re not fat, they’re not thin, they’re very standard.

But do you know what size my Atwoods are?

I bought my Atwoods in size 10. Yes, with insoles, but 10.

10!!!

Because these motherf-ckers are made to TORTURE. The toe area is medieval. And to think – Victoria Beckham stalks around airports in these. I don’t know how. I can only manage in contained spaces. Then I take them off and slip on my boots. It’s a wonder they don’t fall more often. How do they not fall more often?

Anyway, I can hear you already.

Why, you say?

Why bother?

Please.

Your bra-burning women’s slavery to beauty speech may have merit. But I can tell you right now, I’m a lost cause.


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Photos from Wenn.com