Is MUCH more interesting than the Baby Bump, both physically and professionally. And proof that romantic gossip will always > pregnancy gossip, and all the boringness that comes with it.

Jennifer Lopez is divorcing Marc Anthony. The resulting “bump” in her popularity has been undeniable and the Divorce Bump has just delivered her a major cover: Vanity Fair. But how quickly did they pull that sh-t together? Lopez and Anthony confirmed their split on July 15th. Vanity Fair hits newsstands TOMORROW. That’s a two week turnaround for a brand new interview going to print with a photo shoot (with Mario Testino). Tight is an understatement. I’m telling you, her people must have been all over Vanity Fair simultaneously with the separation announcement or... perhaps even before. See? There is so much more to a cover than just a picture. Here is a former superstar who realises she may be able to reclaim some of that glory which, frankly, she may consider just compensation for what she had to endure during her marriage. And is already engaging in backroom manoeuvrings to put herself back in business.

As we know though, when JLo is ready to move on, she not only doesn’ t look back but pushes so aggressively forward, people have a hard time feeling bad for her, even if she was being suppressed for years by a paranoid, controlling freak, a point she not so subtly validates during the interview, her first since the split:

“I’m a hopeless romantic and passionate person when it comes to love. It’s not that I didn’t love myself before. Sometimes we don’t realize that we are compromising ourselves. To understand that a person is not good for you, or that that person is not treating you in the right way, or that he is not doing the right thing for himself—if I stay, then I am not doing the right thing for me. I love myself enough to walk away from that now.”

I had to laugh at her next comment – backhanded graciousness for a man she used to sleep with. Compliments, yes, but only about the music, and nothing about a shared affection, nothing about a great love that came to an end. She is deliberately neutral, like she could be talking about a producer, a drummer, a songwriter, a sperm donor...not the most significant relationship of her life. Because ....he wasn’t?

“I will always respect Marc as a singer and performer. We actually work great together, and he was always very supportive. Together we could make magic—and we did. He will always be in our lives. He will always hold a special place in my heart as the father of my children.”

So...what about Ben? Please. There is no conversation about JLo these days without referencing Ben. Apparently she does talk about Ben in the article. And Puffy too. They just haven’t released those excerpts yet. Ben or Puffy? It’s a 50/50 split in my inbox. Some of you are actively campaigning for a JLo-Diddy v2.0.

I...

Can’t get down with this.

Puffy is a LOSER. Who goes from a Divorce Bump to sh-tty ass Ciroc Vodka? His face is on the Dillard’s truck! WHY would you want the JLo to get back together with the face of Dillard’s?

Ben or Puffy aside though, it WILL be someone SOON. We have always known this about Jennifer Lopez and I don’t think it’s contrived: she loves Love, she says as much herself:

“That (marriage to Marc) was my biggest dream, and I really worked hard at it. We both did. Sometimes it doesn’t work—and that’s sad. But I remain an eternal optimist about love. I believe in love. It’s still my biggest dream. I am positive—determined to move forward with my life, bring up my babies, and do the best job I can as a mother, entertainer, and person. I now look forward to new challenges. I feel strong.”

Me too. Strong in gossip.

After a surprisingly active summer, usually a slow season, we are kicking off the Fall Gossip Rush with a single Jennifer Lopez. JLo usually pays off. Gossip is always Good when JLo looks for love.

Click here for more of JLo in Vanity Fair.