Whenever she was in a spot of trouble, when things weren’t going her away, Elizabeth Taylor had the uncanny ability to summon an illness. And this was no fake cancer bullsh-t, oh no. Elizabeth’s ailments were always legitimate and often life threatening. She would conjure the health drama and almost die (she almost died a lot) and everyone would love her again and pray for her life, and there would be candlelight vigils, and she’d survive, and re-emerge on top.

Ms Taylor, obviously, is the most accomplished of drama queens. She is the gold standard. But all drama queens, be they Legendary, like Elizabeth, or Modern ‘Hood, like Jennifer Lopez, know about Timing. They use it to their advantage and, above all, they use it to entertain us.

As you know, Jennifer Lopez is currently embroiled in some American Idol controversy. She was approached to be a judge, now they say she’s asking for too much, some say the talks are still happening, others say they’re done with her demands.

So she hit the Twitter today, posting for the first time since the story broke that Idol may be quitting her before than even began her. You know she KNOWS about those headlines. And what did she tweet?

Hmmm...what should I wear today?

And attached a photo of a BASKET full of baubles, overflowing with bedazzlement from which she can pick and choose at her whim – it’s obnoxious and arrogant and spoiled and offensive and totally amazing.

See? THIS is why she is Jennifer Lopez. This is why they need her.

File photo from Wenn.com