Pity the Nose

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 31, 2007 12:00:00 January 31, 2007 12:00:00
She has called People Magazine a tabloid before, she has said repeatedly she doesn’t care for the trash perpetuated in gossip rags. And yet…when Jennifer Aniston wants to fellate the MiniVan Majority, when she wants to make sure her status as America’s Sweetheart remains unblemished, she goes running back to People for an “exclusive” interview for no other reason than to talk about appearing in her best friend’s new tv show Dirt, Courteney Cox’s collaborative effort with husband David Arquette. Well…at least that was the pretence. The underlying objective? To talk about her nose, of course. The nose that was fixed for a “deviated septum” – that’s what she’s insisting. Everyone else is smutting something different. Us Weekly goes so far as to say that she’s been unhappy with it since her first nose job 12 years ago, suggesting also that Angelina Jolie’s unsurpassable beauty has finally driven the average girl next door to get surgified to try and keep up. You will note in the People article, she makes a point of scoffing at the “ruthless and cutthroat” rumours surrounding her because if she didn’t care so much, why would she keep talking to the tabloids??? Even funnier – Star Magazine’s hilarious digital masterpiece, surmising on what Jen would look like if she gave in to her demons and tried to actually BECOME Angelina. The result: JENGELINA. See attached…with the accompanying quote – probably fabricated (this is Star after all) but highly amusing in its boldness: “Jen has a terrible habit of comparing herself to everyone else….she’s unhealthily obsessed with Brad and Angelina.” Ouch. In her defense though – I absolutely do NOT think she did her boobs. What I do think is that she put on a bit of weight, spread it around her breasts, and looks lovely for it. If only she could truly believe the Oprah Lotus Chant on the Mountain: Love yourself Jen. Love yourself first, truly love yourself, sing it to the Ocean, and we will sing it back. Source and scan from PopBytes

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