A tricked out vagina sells books

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 13, 2010 12:01:29 January 13, 2010 12:01:29

Every dumb twat has a book out these days. Is it easy to write a book? It must be. Not for people who can actually write, of course, but definitely easy for people writing for idiots. How else can you explain Tori Spelling’s two bestsellers?

Now it’s Size 2 Jennifer Love Hewitt. Because she’s dated, like, everyone. True. And now she wants to share her dating wisdom with you all. Including a suggestion on how to deal with heartbreak.

Love says that every time a relationship ends, you should hot rock your hoo hoo.


Glue fake diamonds onto your vagina. Accessorise your labia with rhinestones. Hey, don’t charge at me for being crass. I’m not the telling you to f-ck around with your lady business. But Size 2 went on George Lopez and recommended that each time you need a spirit lift you should pretty up your pussy and go dancing. Apparently this will alleviate the love hurt.

In other Size 2 news, continuing her obsession with her own body, she also told some story about her boyfriend Jamie Kennedy who tried to compliment her once by calling her a “pear ass” and she freaked out. Then she lectured him on how a pear looks, deemed it to be a derogatory statement, and has now effectively fatted out every woman with a pear shaped body. Thanks.

Oh look! Jennifer Love Hewitt had balloons delivered to her house today. And the paps just happened to be there. Somebody loves her so much!

Violence is not the answer.

Photos from Wenn.com

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