I can’t believe Jennifer Love Hewitt is only 32. She seems... not that young. Desperation can age you.

I don’t watch The Bachelor or any of its iterations. Never. So I don’t know who these people are. Apparently JLH does. And she’s been throwing herself at one of them. Some guy called Ben. He’s a winemaker. (Please, I do appreciate that you’d want to fill me in. But I assure you this is all I’ll ever need to know about Ben the Winemaker. Save your email and yell at me about something else.) And though he didn’t win the competition, JLH clearly though that he was the best candidate, tweeting:

Omg! Ben f except my final rose !!! I love that ring. Neil lane u rock!! Happy for Ashley.... Gotta book a flight to Sonoma !!!:):)

As IF she didn’t just use the word EXCEPT when she meant the word ACCEPT.

It’s like people who use “of” when the really mean “have”. HOW IS THIS THE SAME???

(Also, the word “me” has been so maligned that now the “I” is being rampantly misused. “He told Jen and I that he was going to the store” is becoming so common that I’ve heard someone argue apoplectically, almost to the point where he ended a friendship, that this is correct. Because they’ve actually started doing it on the news.)

Anyway, then JLH flew off to San Francisco and was conveniently at the same bar when Ben Winemaker walked in four days later. He wasn’t really feeling it at first but she “grabbed him and started making out with him...all over him”.

You think Audrey Hepburn totally approves?

Shame is dying. We are killing it. People who trick out their vaginas are killing it.

I’m not saying Jennifer Love Hewitt has the status of Angelina Jolie, but she’s NOT a reality star. She may be C or D list but she’s certainly not Snooki. She can, legitimately, put down “actor” as her profession on a census form. That has been her job for a long time. And she is bending over, begging, to get properly f-cked by a reality show person. The state of Celebrity has been degraded and devalued drastically over the last decade. This time from the inside.

File photo from Wenn.com