Jessica Alba: campaign sunshine continued…

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 2, 2006 12:00:00 April 2, 2006 12:00:00
Enough already. I’m sick of this b*tch and her nauseating campaign to smother her true sexpot and replace it with Reese Witherspoon. Because as you already know, it’s painful to watch a two bit actress overreaching her limits and trying to go for gold. Just ask Jennifer Aniston. Jessica Alba wants to be taken seriously. She doesn’t want to live off her looks. She doesn’t want you to know her for how well she fills a bikini. Instead, she wants the high profile scripts. She wants to exercise her inner Meryl. She truly believes she is more than just a great body. Poor thing. Here’s where a little Pam Anderson doesn’t hurt. Now there’s a girl who can accept the plain truth that she is and will always be just a fine – if gangbanged a little too often - piece of ass. Someone needs to give Jessica Alba that message. I mean, when you consider that her contemporaries are Natalie Portman and ScarJo and even Keira Knightley, is there really any room for a girl who can barely pull off “I’m so mad” convincingly? And to those of you who keep emailing me about why I can’t stand this petulant little sh*t – go back through the archives, read about how she treats civilians, and then let’s talk. Because Jennifer Lopez, Mariah Carey, and Catherine Zeta Jones combined ain’t got nothing on this f*ckin’ cow.

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