The Alba Bitch and the weak ass break-up

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 25, 2007 12:00:00 July 25, 2007 12:00:00

She is single. The Alba Demon has apparently split with her longtime boyfriend Cash Warren (what kind of a name is Cash???) while on press tour overseas for the Fantastic Four which delivered pretty underwhelming results domestically.

Cash however is back in LA so Jessica called him, told him she didn’t love him anymore, and had her assistant pick her sh-t up from their house the next day.

Two and a half years and he gets a phone call?

Hardly surprising, I suppose. This is after all one of the most cutting bitches in the industry.

What’s interesting therefore is the motivation. Falling out of love is one thing, but the Alba Demon is also an ambitious twat, undoubtedly looking at the rapid rise of that other Jessica – Biel the Shelf Ass – on the back of her own much publicised backside and her relationship with Justin Timberlake and you have to wonder if Alba isn’t a little jealous and consulting with her publicist to launch a similar strategy … of which Cash Warren clearly had no part.

Wait for it, gossips.

Two months, three tops. A new high profile Alba relationship. Trust.

Here she is looking total ass in Berlin the other day trying to rock the red lips and failing miserably. Several shots also of her letting her bitch out. Now imagine that expression barking orders. See?


Tags: Jessica Alba
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