Bitch is the new Taupe

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 5, 2009 13:23:27 January 5, 2009 13:23:27

For Taupe Jennifer Garner, as you know, as was documented on blog after blog, magazine after magazine, life after Alias was all about Violet. Proven time and again, most recently with the GMD and Valkyrie, the MiniVan Majority can make or break a career. Taupe understood this. And Violet is such a photogenic child.

Now it’s the Alba Bitch’s turn to appeal to that coveted demographic. After all, it’s not like she can match the likes of Keira Knightley and Natalie Portman skill for skill, talent vs talent. Hell no. Alba can only compete with strategy and publicity. Which is why you’ll be seeing a lot more of this: Jessica Alba with little Honour, totally transformed by the magic of motherhood, blissfully besotted by her baby, “candid” photos at the playground, maybe in a few days it’ll be organic grocery shopping, then powerwalking with the stroller…

Because the world is obsessed with celebrity children. And the Alba Demon is trying to cash in.

Photos from and

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