Pregnancy Grows the Alba Bitch

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 10, 2008 07:03:37 January 10, 2008 07:03:37

What happens to a Demon Bitch when the hormones are raging? In Alba’s case, the bitch get bigger!

Jessica Alba’s Elle Magazine interview – she called out Zac Efron the other day for being effeminate and it turns the out the new fairy It Boy of Hollywood wasn’t the only recipient of her wrath.

Alba also went on to trash Into the Blue co-star Paul Walker, calling him lazy and waste a money:
"You wouldn"t believe how much that kid got paid! And I don"t think he did one ounce of publicity."

OK so she’s a total hag but I also totally agree. Paul Walker might be hot but Paul Walker is also a tool.

Problem is… so is Alba.

And this is when it gets really insulting. For some reason, she decides to stick it to innocent Eva Mendes. At some point it was raised during the interview that Mendes was “worthy of consideration as a Hollywood leading lady” to which Jessica obviously did not take kindly. Her dismissive:

“But is Mendes greenlighting movies?”

Oh no she dih-int!!!

Bitch… please!!! What the f&ck is she saying? Julia Roberts probably couldn’t greenlight a movie these days! Does the Alba Bitch even know??? Does she???

As for her own illustrious career and her illustrious career choices – not surprisingly Alba pulls a Katherine Heigl and decides to sh*t on her paycheque. You will note, this is a woman whose entire professional existence is based on her looks and still somehow Jessica claims she doesn’t trade on her sexuality?

Well then what was Good Luck Chuck?

Apparently Good Luck Chuck was porn! She actually called it “porn”!

"It wasn"t supposed to be like that. There were all these actresses who got conned into being completely naked. Every day when I was done I ran away."

Oh really???

Did she not read the script?

The premise of Good Luck Chuck was Dane Cook as some kind of engagement charm – every time he f&cked a girl she got engaged. Then he finds Alba, he wants her, but can’t sleep with her because of the curse.

Clearly Oscar material. Clearly. Because if you believe Alba, it started off as Oscar material – presumably why she took the role – and then somehow degenerated into filth afterwards. Especially since it bombed at the box office.

How convenient.

Convenient too that she has been trying to reinvent herself. And this pregnancy could not have come at a better time. Because she seems hellbent on insisting that she has achieved what she’s achieved only “through hard work and talent”.

"Contrary to how people may feel, I"ve never used my sexuality. That"s not part of it for me. I don"t get it. I"m the most boring chick ever."


Seriously Jessica Alba... Sit DOWN. Sit DOWN Jessica Alba.

Check her out yesterday modeling a variety of wigs with her bitch face front and centre.

Source and photos

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