Jessica Alba was out with her baby yesterday in the rain wearing the Prada harness strap boots, same as Penelope Cruz last month.

I tried these boots on at Saks in New York a few weeks ago. They were on sale but it didn’t matter. Because they would not fit over my calves. Now we all have what we perceive as problem body areas, especially as we age. I get it. My ass can be a problem, my waist can be a problem, but I never thought my calves were a problem. Boots are not usually a problem. Here are my calves, first in a black dress at the Junos and then in a red dress at the Heart Truth Fashion Show last year. Even if there’s weight gain since, it’s not like it all goes to your calves. Calves are like the last parts to get fat. 

Now take a look at Jessica Alba and how much room she has in those boots. There are SEVERAL extra inches in there. Can you imagine how little those legs are? Jacek, bless him, who was with me that day at Saks, is convinced that her boots aren’t the same. He says the boots I tried – and I tried multiple pairs – were the same width from ankle to calf. I’m not so sure. Whatever the case, this broad is completely thinnified. And I’ve been obsessively studying my calves. Oh vanity.


Photos from Splashnewsonline.com