Jessica Biel’s publicist, that’s who. Went from a no one to a someone by virtue of her ass and Pip’s appreciation of it…to say nothing of the conveniently arranged photographs of her with her dog and on the beach showing off every curve and every great angle. So very subtle, so very tasteful, so brilliantly strategised… whoever is behind the Biel pimp needs a huge, huge raise.

Because this is the kind of publicity most people dream of:

A “source” is now telling People that “Justin’s in love”... that he thinks “she"s the coolest chick ever. He wants to be with her all the time. He"s ready to be serious."

Serious??? With Jessica Biel? And ultra private Pip’s friends see fit to deliver this message via MiniVan Majority?

Please. See through that sh-t a mile away.