Worst Dressed & Desperate: Jessica Biel

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 26, 2007 12:00:00 February 26, 2007 12:00:00
Ummm…WTF??? For weeks I’ve been bitching about her unfounded arrival on the scene and for good reason - given last night’s atrocious outing, Jessica Biel is clearly playing in the wrong sandbox. Girl is WAY out of her league. Like, did she crimp her hair??? And age 15 years? And go colour blind in the process? Because if you’re going to make such an audacious move, if you’re going to attempt to wrench attention away from everyone else, at least…at the very least … put on a good show. At the very least do what Jessica Alba did last year: Gold, understated, appropriate, gorgeous. And the polar opposite of loud, tacky, and obnoxious. In other words – Jessica Biel. As for that now famous ass? The one to rival Jennifer Lopez? Well put it this way – Jennifer Lopez doesn’t waddle. Jennifer Lopez doesn’t walk bent over willing her junk to slap someone in the face. Jessica Biel? Jessica Biel waddles on purpose. Jessica Biel chose a dress with an extra piece of material hanging off her backside to draw attention to it. And Jessica Biel walked around practically in a pike position making sure no one missed it. Then she stopped by the photo wall right in front of our balcony and jutted it out even more. Like there was neon sign with an arrow on top of her head pointing down to her bottom, by the end of it I thought she was literally going to bend over. About those Ryan Reynolds rumours? Likely just a booty call, originating from their time in Vancouver shooting Blade - apparently they were making out all over the place in public. And yes, he was with Alanis at the time.

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