Given all the drama fed by her publicist about a showdown with Cam, Jessica Biel fell FAR short last night.

And as expected, Pip did NOT walk the carpet with her – as IF he would walk the carpet with her?

Please.

But still…Biel has said she longs to be considered among the “top tier” of girls – the Scarjos, the Portmans. Which is presumably why she decided to put her body away last night. She wants the roles, she wants The Other Boleyn Girl, she can’t handle the truth: that she is only and forever the damsel in distress in a formulaic Nicolas Cage movie…period.

And for all the pre-show posturing about showing up Cammy on the carpet, this outfit sucked some serious, serious, serious ass.

Especially the shoes.

Zoom in, look hard, look closely at those shoes. There’s a platform that comes OUT from under the toes – space age and SOOOOO ugly, I don’t care if Louboutin himself declares them legends for all time, or who stamped it with their design… that sh-t is hideous. Hideous. And when you consider what Cameron did? When you consider that Cameron brought the A plus game?

Well now it’s a fact, even though she’s a conceited bitch, heads up against the Biel, Cameron is the Best Pipette.

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