Jessica Biel’s publicist really needs to write a book. Or teach a course. Or start up her own agency. Because what she’s done with a Shelf Ass is nothing short of extraordinary.

From collaborating with the paps during work outs OUTSIDE the gym, and beach visits baring her bikini bottom with her dogs (now dog, singular), to dating the Pip, to leaking details of a romance with Pip, and travelling the world with Pip, Jessica Biel is reportedly on her way to nailing her very own super hero franchise.

Jessica Biel to be Wonder Woman?

She’s apparently in talks with Warner Bros and could kick things off alongside other superheros in an all star superhero film called Justice League of America – total cheese title.

From there, the studio is said to be looking to spin off Wonder Woman as a multi film franchise. Which means massive paycheques for the Shelf Ass. And a very, very well played media strategy.

So well played that she received absolutely NO heat for over the tragic and unconscionable death of her dog. You will recall the statement released last week – that her younger pit bull died after an “unfortunate” accident during which several dogs were supposedly playing but no one was around to see exactly what happened.

I’m sorry?

No one was around?

And why the f&ck not? How is that responsible pet ownership?

Answer: it’s not. Period. The End.