Can you imagine how jealous Granny Freeze Nicole Kidman must be of Jessica Biel’s mouth? Third Lip wants THAT Third Lip. And it’s natural...right? Discuss.

After that nauseating display of girly chickflickness with Taupe Jennifer Garner, fronting like they’re all for women, Biel showed up on Letterman and demonstrated yet again her uninspired personality. F-ck she is dull. And that fake laugh....see? She can’t act.

You’ll note, she also still isn’t able to walk on heels. Check her at the beginning. A rare styling win. That’s a great dress. And then she tries to move her feet and can barely make it to Dave’s desk.

Most of the interview focuses on her Kilimanjaro climb. Jessica inarticulately tries to explain the mission – bringing awareness to the lack of clean water in impoverished communities – and then for some reason decides it would be a good idea, at Letterman’s urging, to reveal that on their trek up the mountain, there were porters who cooked gourmet meals for them every night...


If you can make it to the end, they play a clip from the movie. The most awkward, terribly acted, minute on screen you’ll see in a while. Both she and Eric Dane suck. Badly. Garry Marshall was probably punching himself every day on that set.



Photos from and