But first...

That goddamn fringe.

Jessica Biel was in Berlin yesterday promoting Total Recall at the press event and the premiere. Fashion-wise both choices are disappointments. That silky crop top makes her tits all wobbly in the daytime outfit and what kind of proper celebrity wears a tiered skirt in 2012? You know who still wears tiered skirts? Mischa Barton.

The advantage here though is that she had her fringe pushed up. And it brightens up her entire face. She has such a beautiful face. When you can see all of it, it’s a really, really nice face. When her forehead is covered though, Jessica’s face is instantly reduced both in size and beauty. And besides, it’s not just about aesthetics. For the benefit of those new to this blog, according to Chinese face-readers, a lot of luck is stored in a woman’s forehead, particularly at Biel’s age. With that fringe it’s like she’s smothering her good fortune.

But then again, Jessica Biel smothers a lot about herself and it goes beyond what she looks like. We all know a girl like her. At one time or another we may have been a girl like her -- the kind of girl who’ll modify history to arrive at a version of events she can live with, even if it means fooling herself.

In a new interview with Hello! UK, Biel addresses her breakup with Justin Timberlake last year. As you know, he cheated on her with Olivia Munn and others. Here’s how she chose to interpret how that went down:

"I needed to be alone for a while. I think that when you take the time to stand by yourself as an independent person, and you find out that you actually are capable of moving forward alone and being fine on your own, then it is a very empowering feeling to have. It gives you a lot of strength, a lot of confidence, too, because it means you know that... any decision you make is an educated one, not just an emotional one. So you make your own choice about whether to step back into a relationship or whether to go in a different direction."

Who else have we heard this from, the “love yourself and be ok being alone” mantra?

Jennifer Lopez.

You know.

And it’s a lot of work. This is what makes it so sad. That she’s doing so much of the work in the fixing, or the masking. Why would JT ever have to try if she’s giving him all the easy answers?

As for the wedding, apparently Emily Blunt and John Krasinski are her wedding idols:

“I do know that it’s not going to be a great big to-do. This will be a very private moment for us, so we’re going to keep it small and intimate. The people I’d most like us to be like are Emily Blunt and John Krasinski – it seemed like one day they were engaged and the next day they were married and nobody had known anything about it. And I did at the time think, ‘Aha! That’s the way to do it.’”


She’ll get the wedding HE wants. It’s the best way to start a life together.

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