She’s persistent.

And she’s already trying to sort out a Plan B. Plan A, obviously, is to keep clinging to Pippy even though he’s trying to fling her. But just like she once schemed to lock him down, crashing party after party to hook it up, Shelf Ass Jessica Biel is resourceful. A hungry bitch always lines up her next meal. And it looks like she wants a piece of Robert Pattinson’s open mouth.

Shelfy told MTV:

"Well, I'm clearly familiar with the films. I haven't read the books, but I haven't seen any of the films yet so I'm not that familiar — I know the idea of what it's about. I mean, maybe [I'd be in the next 'Twilight' film]. That would be lovely. I am not opposed to playing a vampire.”

Are you familiar or are you not familiar? Make up your f-cking mind. Learn how to speak. But this is my favourite part: that would be lovely. I’m not opposed to playing a vampire.

Like she has so many options.

Sit DOWN Shelfy. Please. And stay there.

Here she is in New York at a Live Earth event yesterday. Not, um, the strongest public speaker. But you would know that if you’ve seen the audition tape.

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