They said that Jessica Biel was considering wearing a wedding dress designed by Monique Lhuillier. It didn’t sound right to me at the time. Not that there’s anything wrong with Lhuillier but, you know, I’m not sure Monique Lhuillier is *enough* for Justin Timberlake. And this wedding, it is ALL about Justin Timberlake.

Justin Timberlake’s bride deserves a gown from Paris. Of course. So here she is in Paris the other day showing that ring off to the French. Apparently JT busted his ass “designing” the ring for his future wife. Us Weekly called it “going rogue”, as her stylist wanted to give him a few suggestions. JT being JT, obviously, JT didn’t need any suggestions, motherf-cker. JT KNOWS. He knows about acting, he knows about everything, and he knows about a ring.

Which is why...

Well...

That’s the sh-t she ended up with.

I don’t care if the diamond is the size of a bread crumb if it comes from the right place, if the person giving it doesn’t dangle commitment over your head as a bargaining chip for forgiveness and the occasional freedom f-ck. When the diamond is the size of a crouton and comes with a proposal from the kind of man who snaps his fingers while waiting for his tequila, I’m just saying you might want to seriously re-imagine the next few years of your life. And whether or not that’s worth a big day and a beautiful dress.