Many of you have written today requesting commentary on Jessica Biel’s InStyle cover and interview, specifically this quote:

“I had no say whatsoever (in my engagement ring).”

Her words are being interpreted as a sign that she’s a second class citizen in her relationship with Justin Timberlake. True. But this is not the statement that reflects that. This statement is, if you think about it, true of many women. I had no hand in what my engagement ring looked like. Neither did Duana who was just married this weekend. Duana’s best friend Lara was a primary consult on the engagement ring project, recruited by Duana’s now-husband, but Duana herself had no input. You could say she had “no say whatsoever”. I don’t hold this against Jessica Biel. And besides, that ring is so f-cking ugly, it could be her way of saying - don’t blame that sh-t on me.

And don’t blame any of her sh-tty clothes on her either. It’s ALL JT:

"He is fearless in his choices and has a real eye for design. And I'll be honest: He has better taste than I do. When I walk out of the closet after getting dressed in the morning, I'll go like this [turns palms upward as if to say, 'Well?'] And he goes like this [shakes his head no]. Then he picks again. It's hilarious."

We are always talking about how Jessica Biel has such assy style. Obviously then, it’s not her, it’s HIM.

It’s all him.

All of it. The clothing, the cheating, the marrying, the how and when of everything between them is all HIM. And she is grateful to just be included.

"Justin and I have a rule that we don't let a certain amount of time go by without seeing each other, but it doesn't always work. But from here on out, I want to participate in making smart choices for the relationship. The best thing I learned from [my parents] is that you have to put your relationship first. You need to make time for your partner. It's really easy to let that go by the wayside. It's easy to say, 'Hey, I'll see you later. I love you.' And you can't do that."

No, honey. YOU can’t do that. But can he? Doesn’t he? He does. All the time.

I dislike Jessica Biel because she misrepresents the reality of her situation like it’s some kind of empowerment while hypocritically insisting that she would never leverage or exploit her personal life for professional advancement. But I don’t hate Jessica Biel for letting Justin Timberlake dictate her life. Many women choose the same. You could argue that we women have been raised to want the same. That we undermine our own efforts. How long has it been that we’ve been trying to eliminate the glass ceiling? And yet what does it say about us that Fifty Shades Of Grey will be the most popular book of the year?
Don’t single out Jessica Biel for our regression. We might all have to share some responsibility for that.

Click here for more on Biel from InStyle.