Yes…she’s a scheming golddigging bitch…but I kinda love Jessica Seinfeld. So sinfully manipulative it’s delicious. And somehow she has entranced Jerry Seinfeld. He is completely addicted to her. Saw her at Cannes – as put together as anyone you’ve ever seen, and even better than KFed Junior at playing the doting wife, popping out 3 children in quick succession, and immediately looking picture perfect. With a lot help.
Especially from people like Oprah.
So Mrs Seinfeld claims she was inspired one day while cooking for her kids. Keep in mind that Jerry is 2nd only to Oprah among wealthiest celebrities. And Jessica still claims she actually has to labour in the kitchen! Her concern was that her children refused to eat enough vegetables.
"While I was cooking dinner, pureeing butternut squash for the baby and making mac and cheese for the rest of us, I had the crazy idea of stirring a little of the puree into the macaroni. ... The colors matched -you couldn"t really see the squash in there -and the texture was perfect."
So of course she launched a book. And of course Oprah had to dedicate an entire show to it 2 weeks ago, gushing and fanning intolerably over the “Deceptively Delicious” recipes. The most nauseating sight ever…at the time. Until she did the same thing this week with Jerry Seinfeld and Bee Movie, guffawing at everything he said, so irritating she was begging for a good slap.
As expected, Jessica’s cookbook became an immediate smash hit, soaring sales the next day, so much so that she sent Oprah 21 pairs of shoes luxury shoes. Are you Rossuming?
But wait…
It turns out her brilliant recipes all brilliantly resemble recipes found in a book by Missy Chase Lapine that was released in April. Wrote Lapine:
"If you want to hide something in macaroni and cheese, you have to match the color of the dish. You could easily introduce white bean puree in the mac and cheese."
Even Oprah fans noticed the similarities. Needless to say, Jessica’s reps are quickly coming to her defence:
"She admits she didn"t invent pureeing. But she never saw the [Lapine] book. And she worked really hard on hers."
So is Jessica Seinfeld a plagiarist? More importantly though – will Oprah haul her ass out in front of a television audience and rip her a new asshole like she did James Frey for A Million Little Pieces?
James – a former drug addict! – grossly embellished his story. But he still wrote his own book! And it was a compelling read. Jessica on the other hand ripped off someone else’s ideas and claimed them as her own. Will she suffer the same fate, faced with an angry hysterical Oprah-mob and the bruised ego of an egomaniacal pontificating bully???
Of course not.
But still the lambs follow her word – Women! Power! Learn to Love yourself! Angels and Africa! Rah rah rah!
And THAT, gossips, is what you call the Oprah Double Standard.
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