Yellow Porny vs the ex

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 3, 2010 11:41:19 May 3, 2010 11:41:19

My Porny Simpson attended the White House Correspondents’ Dinner this weekend. I supposed it’s not the worst thing she’s ever put on. But still...with the light bouncing off all that yellow sateen, it’s like a f-cking boob eclipse. And she doesn’t exactly look young and fresh. Remember, Porny isn’t yet 30. And they insist on making her well past.

We’re just 2 months away from the 1 year anniversary of the breakup. He broke up with her on her birthday, remember? So it was a big night for Porny on Saturday. Because Tony Romo was there too. And with his new piece, Candice Crawford, sister of Chace Crawford. Candace decided on black and demure. Porny on the other hand became the Blazing Breasts of Texas. Jesus that sh-t is loud. Subtlety is not a Simpson strength.

Neither is speaking without sounding like her legs are open.

Us Weekly asked about her relationship status at the event. Porny’s reply?

"I have some situations that I am feeling out."

Really honey? Is that the best way to have communicated this? Always. Every time she talks there’s always a cock in her mouth. And then she fronts about self esteem:

"I try to be a role model who stands up for women and self-esteem.”

How? With her tits always mashed together? We can’t give her a new brain. But we can surround her with some intelligence. If only she’d let us in.

Photos from and Brandon Todd/Janet Mayer/

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