Let me help!

TMZ is reporting that during a performance last night in Grand Rapids, Michigan, our Porny supposedly exhibited signs of emotional distress. According to locals, one of the indications was that she forgot the lyrics to her own song Come On Over.


Clearly they don’t know Jessica Simpson. She forgets lyrics all the time. Remember the Kennedy Centre Honours? Exactly.

More alarming however is that she kept apologising to the crowd, seemingly unable to continue, going so far as to tell the audience that she didn’t feel like finishing…

They say it’s Love Stress. They say things are not right with Tony Romo.

The tabloids keep reporting he’s cheating on her. She flew in to Dallas on a short break from touring this week to spend some time with him. These are photos taken of her after their brief reunion to head to Michigan. She was apparently completely distraught about having to leave again and the separation is becoming too much to handle, but the newfound momentum and interest in her country offerings as a result of the porny pants must be sustained.

So I hear she’s being a whiny baby about the tour…because she’s lazy or because she’s insecure about her boyfriend…?

Probably both.

Oh Porny. There is so much to do, where do we start?

Work ethic? Self esteem? Spine growth? Trouser training? C-ck lips reduction?

It’s a long, long, LONG list. How can you hate on someone so f-cking incompetent?

Photos from Splashnewsonline.com