Feng shui speaking, 29 isn’t a great year. I had a terrible 29, and almost all my friends too. For me, in the lunar cycle, at 29 The Ox has to eat some sh-t. And I did. And so did my Porny last year. On her 29th birthday Tony Romo decided to break up with her.

Twelve months later it’s a new year, a new sign, and a new man. Jessica Simpson is on holiday with Eric Johnson in Capri modelling big breast muumuus. She celebrated the milestone with a public straddle on a yacht surrounded by friends...and dad? Can’t decide if that older man is her father. Probably. Because he has to tag along for everything.

As for Porny and Eric, last week I expressed optimism about this relationship because he’s not That Guy – click here for a refresher. And, let’s face it, professionally they are not equal. She needs this for a change. Many of you however have written to say that while Eric makes a good candidate on his own, there’s the business of the soon-to-be-ex-wife that might be an issue. If she’s a bitter bitch, Porny’s headed for trouble. And a throwdown. And this is poblematic, especially since our Porny doesn’t have a girl posse, the right kind of girl posse, to back up her ass.

Think of it then as a character-building exercise. And perhaps a way to, finally, weed the weak sh-t out of her inner circle.

Photos from Flynetonline.com