Putting BigMouth to good use

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 21, 2008 13:00:53 April 21, 2008 13:00:53

It’s Tony Romo’s birthday today and he celebrated this weekend in Dallas at a club called Suite with his bombshell by his side.

Jessica Simpson serenaded her man and then helped him eat his cake, using her well-trained tongue (thank you Johnny Knoxville) to lick the cream off his lips. There was dancing, there was champagne, there was love. The two appeared very much in love.

Love, love, love.

Love Jess and Tony.

But does Jess still love Ken Paves? Life & Stylen which was selling at a bargain basement $1.99 because it’s so f&cking reliable, is reporting that Jess is breaking up with her gay because he makes her look like sh*t and because she looks better stripped down when she’s with Romo anyway.


She will never leave her ‘mo. Even though her ‘mo does her no favours, the point is, SHE thinks he does her favours. To quote Juno, he is the cheese to her macaroni. Tony meanwhile is just the icing.

Back to the birthday party – after a late night on Saturday, Tony hit the links on Sunday while she stayed in the golf cart playing his personal Dallas Cowboys cheerleader.

This is where I take exception. First of all, civilians normally aren’t allowed to ride the cart without playing. F&cking celebrity rules. Second… how can you not play??? Am itching, ITCHING, to get out on my first round of the season. Weather permitting it will probably happen tomorrow.

Seriously. Sitting in a golf cart NOT playing golf is akin to hearing Emmy Rossum sing. OK…wait. I exaggerate. Nothing is as insufferable as listening to Emmy Rossum sing.

For more photos of Romo’s party, click here.

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