Porny & the Pumpkin

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 9, 2009 09:21:00 December 9, 2009 09:21:00

E!Online is reporting that Jessica Simpson has found a new boyfriend: Billy Corgan. Random. And terrible. Billy Corgan is talented, sure, but he deals with Courtney Love. Porny’s now running in this circle? She won’t survive it.

Corgan was spotted in the background during a night out in New York recently. She’s all smiles and him…?

Oh I think I see a ShameFace. Do you see a ShameFace? Perhaps not as epic as John Mayer’s ShameFace back in the day but it’s there all the same. When your pride is shamed by your penis, it’s written all over your face.

Word is Porny and Corgan are now “officially dating”. Sigh. This will end badly. This will end in a pair of amazingly atrocious pants and the photos to prove it. Not that I want her to get her heart broken (again) but I am a bad person. And her heartbreaks lead to high waisted horrors. And those high waisted horrors make my life. And yours too. Don’t lie.

Jessica went out for dinner last night in LA with her main gay and a new love glow. Oh la. It’s coming.

Photos from Saleem Elatab-AhmadElatab/Roshan Perera/

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