No, it’s not mature. No, my photo selection for this post isn’t helping. But this is a f-cking emergency. And we need immediate, drastic action even if it’s a little juvenile.

Us Weekly
just posted this exclusive:

Jessica Simpson FARTS during business meeting

Her mom was there too. And her mom had to yell at her for her behaviour. For letting one rip in a room full of adults talking money and sh-t.

Only Porny Jessica Simpson would be the subject of a story like this. Only her. Because not only did she gas up the boardroom, whoever was in that boardroom sold her out, and this is the problem:

Jessica is now associated almost solely with stories about her large ass or her smelly ass.

It’s all ass all the time. Just ass. Her career is ass. And not even good ass. Like badass. No, it’s the worst kind of ass. A flatulent ass in high waisted jeans…

I’ve never been so embarrassed over someone else’s fart.

Photo from