Porny is going back to the gym. She wallowed in her jammies for a couple of weeks after Tony Romo bailed on her and now, obviously, she called up Ken Paves, told him to do her hair, had a makeup artist come by and apply the “natural” look, and made arrangements to be photographed emerging from break up hell.


As her imaginary appointed BFF, I completely endorse this move.

Many of you have emailed me about a photo she posted on her Twitter with her girls rallying around supporting her, pointing to this as some kind of evidence that she actually has real friends.

I’m not convinced. If they were real friends, if they knew what they were doing, we wouldn’t be here in the first place.

And they need to stop talking about her like a wounded animal to the press.’s top headline (as of press time) is an article about how the Simpson family is worried about Jessica, and that they all “feel bad” for her because, well, because she’s embarrassing.

“They worry for her a lot. The family used to have such faith in [Jessica] and they worried about Ashlee. Now they are fully confident in Ashlee's choices and they worry most of their days about Jessica. It seems she just can't catch a break."

Not helping. Not helping at all.

Please friends. Please make her look even more pathetic! Please tell everyone she’s 29 years old and a f-cking mess. Please broadcast it to the world that all is lost because some douche decided she wasn’t the one.


Those are good friends?


I am a good friend.

And a good friend would never ever let people see her like this.

Photos from