My husband and I joke about it all the time. But seriously. Who gets the dog if we divorce? I say me because Marcus was my 30th birthday present. He says him because I’m just Marcus’s food bitch. Needless to say, never mind anything else, over the dog…it’ll get ugly.

When it comes to Hollywood splits, who gets what and how do they decide? I’ve heard some separations are so nasty they even fight over the plants.

A personal trainer then is a prized possession. After all, this is the man or woman who helps with the body, with the looks, with the ass – what could be more important?

Check out Jessica Simpson hitting the gym for the 3rd day in a row yesterday with a new trainer. Last time she worked out hard to prep for the suckassness known as Major Movie Star she hooked up with Harley Pasternak who, of course, is attached to John Mayer. You’ll recall, Harley launched some kind of book by leveraging his fitness relationship with Jessica into a rather impressive media sweep… but when Jess and John broke up, Harley stayed with John, and Jess was left to find someone new.

All part of the negotiation, perhaps, but you get the sense, since Harley has all but disappeared, that he would have probably preferred to stay with Porny unless, of course, John brings him to the golden catch: Jennifer Aniston at which point Harley’s exploitation can run an all time high.

Photos from