There was a story last week about how Porny’s dad is still negotiating with a magazine for a half million dollar deal to officially confirm her pregnancy which is why she hasn’t said anything about it yet. Two challenges here:

Jessica is apparently quite far along. Jessica is too dumb to hide it. How else can you explain why she’s tottering around JFK in a tight black shirt barely concealing her own baby AND Beyonce’s goose feather pillow? BumpWatch is the worst with reliability, yes, but then there’s just the obvious. And this is more than just sitting around farting all day, with no responsibility, and burping after the housekeeper cleans up the nachos. She let that golddigger put a multi-million dollar claim inside of her.

It might cost her though, the fact that she’s putting it on display. Or, more accurately, it might cost her father, Joe Simpson. If I’m a magazine, any magazine, I’m looking at these photos and reducing my offer by at least $100K, if not more. Unless of course Joe comes back with something of increased value. Like the conception video. Or an invitation inside the delivery room. That’s where we’re heading with these famewhores, you know. For the right price, they WILL sell themselves when they’re in labour. Joe Simpson has the opportunity here to trailblaze this trend.