We are helping?

As imaginary friends of Jessica Simpson, I think our work is working. No more articles on People.com from “friends” describing that she’s sad and mopey and a total loser sitting on her mom’s couch drunk texting Tony Romo.

Instead, two sightings in a row that reflect a more pulled-together, more positive, more defiant Jessica.

Especially yesterday, out and about in LA, her skin so fresh, and very natural makeup – she is SO pretty when she’s not porned up and primped to look like a sex doll. This is the Jessica Simpson who can throw it back in QB1’s face:

There’s a long line waiting for me. I can still be a catch. Are you a catch? Especially when you can barely throw?

Oh no I didn’t.

Oh yes I did.

What has Tony Romo done for Dallas lately?

He’s a f-cking loser. And Jessica Simpson was the only checkmark on his resume.

At the very, very, VERY least, Jessica Simpson has a successful clothing line.

Tony Romo has yet to win a playoff game. And blaming it on his girlfriend shows some weak ass balls.

THAT is what a girl does for another girl.

But I worry for the girl…

Because Jess is looking TOO happy. And usually, when she looks this happy, there’s a boy involved.

I smell pee.

Photos from Flynetonline.com and Splashnewsonline.com