My Porny, ONCE AGAIN, took to Twitter to express gratitude that Eric Johnson has agreed to live off her fortune. The other day, Jacek called me Toronto from Vancouver to get me to call our regular sushi place to order him takeout. It's because I talk to the staff in Chinese and he thinks they pack the rolls better as a result.

When our friend Kiu found out that Jacek's wife arranges for his meals even when she's out of town, he was all like - dude, you have it good, you are the motherf-cking sh-t.

No. Jacek has to clean our carpets before I get home on Wednesday. Eric Johnson just has to hold the remote when he's watching the AFC Championship while Jessica Simpson sucks his dick. Eric Johnson is the motherf-cking sh-t.

And every day, she tells him. She tells us too.

Saying my prayers before bedtime...Thank you Lord for blessing me with a Man that has the perfect Tush...laying my hands upon it with peace :)

Apart from the grossness of her over-appreciation of this lazy oaf, what bothers me most is the use of the word TUSH, like she's too demure to say ASS. Please. This girl rode bronco styles on top of John Mayer and I'm supposed to believe she's too delicate for ASS?

TUSH is a dumb word.

You know what else is a dumb word?

Asshat.

I've been hearing Asshat more and more lately. Cringe every time. Asshat. Why Asshat? What is that? Asshat. It's a loser insult.

Which has now prompted a discussion (we are at the My Idiot Brother junket standing around talking sh-t) with Dylan and Josh about Asshat. Dylan just screwed up his face when I asked him what he thinks of it. Asshat. He said, "If someone called me asshat I'd laugh, and I'd show them my ballsack. Lame. In my neighbourhood, you get beat up for saying asshat."

Exactly. Like Tush.


Photo from Wenn.com