No Porny! No no!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 21, 2008 08:28:13 August 21, 2008 08:28:13

It’s like… it’s like she’s never, ever been to a sleepover, you know? The truth reveals itself much too often: Jessica Simpson has no girlfriends. No true girlfriends. No true back up. No girls with whom to discuss strategy – either via group session at lunch, or these days on IM, and as we do lately, via Skype.

Jessica Simpson has no such support.

So she keeps floundering, letting her tits guide her way, unable to defend herself against raging bitches like Carrie Underwood.

You will recall – Carrie claimed in a recent interview that Tony Romo still calls her even though she screens his number.  Where I come from, that’s what you call a C**ty Move. Low dirty blow.

Instead of playing it off cool though, Jess … she… it hurts… it hurts to watch a friend embarrass herself…

Jess revealed on the radio yesterday that what Carrie said isn’t true because “I looked at (Tony’s) call log”.


Of course she looked at his call log. But you NEVER TELL that you looked at his call log!

Porny tried to save her fumble by offering this later on but it was too little too late:

"Tony and I both laughed at that. We got a chuckle out of it."

Oh honey. The only person chuckling is HER. She’s chuckling because she made you feel it. She’s chuckling because you flinched.

F&ck she needs us. She needs us so much.

Do You Know, Country Porny’s first album, will be released on September 9th. Girl to girl… have pity. Please help. Order it. Buy it. It’s a $14 commitment to friendship. To sisterhood. To helping the disadvantaged take on a giant bitch.

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