Scripted Porny

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 17, 2013 20:40:00 January 17, 2013 20:40:00

How so very disappointing that Jessica Simpson and Ryan Lochte somehow missed each other pop culturally. A year or two earlier or later and it could have been spectacularly stupid. Stupidly spectacular? Both!

Can you imagine?

And then a reality show: Dum-Dums. Or Porny & Dum-Dum. No one would have to smoke weed ever again.

Anyway, it was announced earlier this week that Porny has signed a deal with NBC for a scripted show based on her life. Like Curb Your Enthusiasm in that Porny would play herself, only it’s being produced by Joe Simpson so... you know.

Said an NBC executive:

“Jessica Simpson is truly a modern-day Lucy with incredible comedic chops. From running a fashion empire to wrangling her public image as a new mom, we see Jessica’s character approach a variety of ‘everyday’ circumstances that will get audiences laughing out loud.”

Said Porny:

“I often find myself thinking that no one could ever make up the things that actually happen in my life — so between the real-life elements and a great team of writers, I think we’ll have people laughing!”

As Maria said to me the other day, “she’s failing up”. It’s almost inspiring.

Thing is if it wasn’t on network television, it actually might work. In a subversive, borderline obscene way, watching an idiot navigate her life undoubtedly has comedic potential, in the same way that Larry David, a neurotic, inappropriate, sometimes total prick, navigates his fictional life to great comedic effect.

But could a Porny production be that clever? And on NBC???

Here’s Porny on The Tonight Show Tuesday telling Jay about her accidental pregnancy and how she plans to prevent it from happening in the future, if you can pay attention. Because Breasts. I can’t even imagine how much that must hurt -- breastfeeding and pregnant? Does that mean that your breasts are four times as big? 


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