Porny in the morning!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 2, 2009 06:30:00 July 2, 2009 06:30:00

She knew we needed her. And she delivered, just like Mimi.

Tiger Woods held his pro am yesterday in DC and invited Tony Romo. With Romo came Porny. She tucked her bits into a tight striped dress and sang the national anthem. LOVE what was written on the Washington Post blog:

“(Jessica Simpson) eventually left the first green before any of her body parts managed to escape."

But have you EVER seen someone with a bigger mouth? Unfortunately I don’t have access to most of the photos. But why bother when there’s video?

How does she sound?

Part ridiculous vocal gymnastics/part mating call. Only Jessica Simpson can make the Star Spangled Banner sound like a phone sex hotline. You will need to watch this with your hands over your eyes, taking quick peeks and quickly retreating over and over again. Because of the fontrum. Especially when she shows you her singing philosophy: louder = better.

But then afterwards it’s great. She bounces around signing autographs, juicy and delicious and how can you not smile seeing her? She’s harmless and entertaining and always good for a giggle.

Porny to the rescue. Praise Xenu.

Photos from Gene Young/

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