When Porny talks about her mouth...

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 28, 2010 08:53:03 April 28, 2010 08:53:03

This sh-t just writes itself.

"My lips just slide all over the place....I can't catch up with my mouth. I need a little coating...."

And you wonder why I call her Porny. It just comes naturally. And this is also why I used to say she had a cocksucker’s mouth. Because, well, she can’t f-cking help it.

Jessica Simpson will be on Ellen Degeneres today. Talking about her teeth. Apparently she doesn’t brush them every day. She does however floss and rinse with Listerine. Listerine, as far as I know, in this case, is not code for something else although I don’t blame you for going there. Because, well, she can’t f-cking help it.

Porny confirmed to Ellen that she’s single but that she’s also “mingling”. And this is when she described herself like some Walk of Shame Girl, creeping around in alleys at all hours of the night after unleashing her sexual napalm all over some douchey f-ck.

"I mingle around very privately. I have ways in and out of my house and certain places that I go that are private just so I can have a normal life. I'm still out there and bring normal."

See how Porny can make anything sound dirty? She could probably make quantum physics sound dirty. Because, well, she can’t f-cking help it.

It’s genetic stupidity, as I’ve already noted. It’s genetic stupidity combined with the fact that they never taught her how to properly communicate. And it’s being raised by a perv who probably objectified her her entire life. This is why her value is wrapped up in her chest. All of it contained in those massive breasts. Don’t hate on her because she sounds so dumb. She IS dumb. She sounds as she is. Which is why she doesn’t deserve your attack. Because, well, she can’t f-cking help it.

Pity her. Help me help her.

Source: Us Magazine

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