Jessica Simpson presented her newborn son Ace Knute on the cover of the new US Weekly yesterday. Now Page Six is reporting that she was only paid $100,000 for it. Look, $100,000 is a lot of money for us. It is not a lot of money for someone who supposedly runs a billion dollar business. Porny is RICH. Very, very, very RICH. That kind of cash? For her? $100,000? It’s nothing. If you consider that her deal with Weight Watchers is something around $3 million, it’s a pound of weight loss. ONE POUND.

And still, those Simpsons, they can’t help themselves. They’ll pimp whatever they can get their hands on. But who was sitting around putting their life on hold to see this baby? Were you? At any point, did you say to yourself, “F-ck I can’t wait to see what Porny’s baby boy looks like?” Me I totally forgot she even had a baby boy. I guess then, when you think about it that way, $100,000 sounds about right. $100,000 is, like, Snooki money. Which tells you how high the Pornys are aiming now.