If you told me yesterday I’d be able to write about my #1 and #2 on the same day, I would have never predicted that my reaction would be as it is: decidedly disappointed. This is my problem: I am too objective sometimes when it comes to quiveration. I lack the loyalty required to be a true fan. Like my friends Laura and Lo, who are obsessed with a certain young Brit, and even when faced with photos of him, bloated and hairy, with a nose that slopes very unattractively in profile, it doesn’t matter to them, ever. Their devotion remains intact. They are incapable of admitting, even, that the object of their desire looks bad.

Not so for me. If I’m fantasising about him, he’s not allowed to look gross. He’s not allowed to do whatever it is Jim is doing with his hair here, last night at the LA premiere of Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole. Two weeks ago in Paris, on the set of One Day with Anne Hathaway – photos are attached – Jim’s hair was significantly shorter. All that growth happened in two weeks? Hate it. Especially since it appears as though he tried to do something with it. So he made it like that on purpose?

Fortunately the hair f-ckery is balanced by the presence of his longtime girlfriend Mickey. He’s been with her for years, at least 3. And he was loyal to her when Kate Bosworth tried to come between them while filming 21. That’s her one move.

And then there’s Garrett Hedlund. In Los Angeles for a photo shoot this weekend posing so awkwardly it’s almost endearing. He doesn’t do this every day, he’s not an expert at the pucker, and that certainly helps his cause, but I hope it’s really just the angle. Because from where I’m looking Garrett is working some Jonas brothers thickness in the thigh area there. And whatever’s happening with that green jacket and those awful middle age pants is not helping either.

It’s not dead, not for both, but any more of this, in a steady stream, and I’m not so optimistic. This is the problem with being such a fickle bitch.

Photos from Bauergriffinonline.com and KCSPresse/Splashnewsonline.com and Frederick M. Brown/ Kevin Winter/AFP/Gettyimages.com