Not engaged.

NOT engaged.

I just want to make that clear because most headlines you’ve read this morning will probably say that he IS engaged. But he’s NOT engaged. It was a prank. Because this is what happens when Joaquin Phoenix appears on David Letterman. He either pretends he’s retiring and f-cked up and on the verge of a breakdown or he tells a story about falling in love with his yoga instructor. Apparently Letterman was in on it.

Joaquin’s publicist has since confirmed that it was a hoax. And he told George Stephanopoulous on Good Morning America that:

“I think like my life’s so boring and it seemed like something exciting to talk about, and I wanted the audience to like me. They really like people getting married…I can get engaged again, if you like?”

Well, he’s hitting on something there, isn’t he? If he’s trying to be subversive, this time it was a lot more effective. For some reason, people lose their sh-t over weddings and babies.

On Kelly & Michael this morning, he once again fronted like he didn’t know what they were talking about with his engagement and also claimed that he never does yoga. This, I guess, is what happens when you make Joaquin Phoenix publicise a movie. And this, totally, is why he could have never been Dr Strange. I mean, right now he’s promoting Inherent Vice, an entirely different beast than what would be required of him when promoting a Marvel movie, can you imagine?

I’ll tell you what I do believe though. At one point during his interview with Letterman, Joaquin talks about working again with Reese Witherspoon. And he imitates her. And he tries to brush it off later that she doesn’t talk like that. But that might have been his only moment of truth the entire time…

Start at 8:30.