Many of you kind hearted souls were worried about Joaquin Phoenix - his unkempt appearance, his BYE GOOD retirement, his bizarre antics - and you appealed to have him classified as sad smut.

JP is not sad smut.

But he is a f-cking loser.

So the rap endeavour, his explanation to People Magazine that it's his life's dream in hip hop - not so. As I surmised last week, Joaquin has essentially become John Mayer. An inside joke that isn't funny along with his bestie Casey Affleck, both apparently involved in an ill-conceived hoax, planning a documentary mocking celebrity trainwrecks and the media coverage that ensues from the drama.

The report is coming from (very reliable) quoting a Phoenix insider who revealed Joaquin's motivation:

“It’s a put-on. I’m going to pretend to have a meltdown and change careers, and Casey is going to film it.”

Apparently he sees it as the next step in his craft - some sort of artistic challenge that only he and Casey are brilliant enough to appreciate:

“It’s an art project for him. He’s going full out. He probably has told his reps that he’s quit acting. Joaquin is very smart. This is very conscious. He has a huge degree of control.”

This coming from someone with his family history? Who supposedly once made out with Lindsay Lohan? Who regularly cruised the Sunset Tower bar with Balthazar Getty leveraging his fame for a f-ck?


How fortunate that Joaquin has been able to amass enough money to lead a leisurely lifestyle, so free and indulgent that he can set aside months to devote to a vanity project that mocks the lifestyle to which he himself has become accustomed.


At the very least, John Mayer can play guitar. Well.

Photos from and