It doesn’t get much better than this.

Sunday night at some club after the VMAs, Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson and their entourage which, of course, included her creepy perv ass father (would you go clubbing with your da?) got into a scrap with some bodyguards that resulted in Ashlee getting thrown up against a wall.

Melee ensued. Pete jumped a guy and Joe Simpson leapt in to help. Joe! Simpson! Apparently the former Baptist minister lost his sh-t and started raining punches himself and – this is the kicker, get ready – in the process drew his finger across his throat in a bad ass Simpson slashing motion.!
Are you dying?

There’s more… when asked about it later, this is what Papa Joe told the NY Daily News:

"When somebody messes with my baby, then it"s over!"