Last night, one carpet, two douchebags: Justin Timberlake and John Mayer at the Keep A Child Alive 5th Annual Black Ball in New York.

Am surprised Shelfy didn’t beg and plead to tag along. Maybe Pip didn’t want her embarrassing him in front of Alicia Keys and Queen Latifah. Wonder what that punk smug smile on his face is all about. He must not have heard yet that Kanye called him lazy.

As for John Mayer, making an appearance before heading out to join his girlfriend Jennifer Aniston for a photo op, he has been remarkably restrained of late. On his best behaviour perhaps during development for his tv show.

Did you hear?

Jennifer Aniston’s incredible body has opened a new door for him – a John Mayer variety hour which will break down as follows:

Block 1: Opening monologue for the paparazzi

Block 2: John inside the Jamming Nook making orgasm face while performing with musical guest

Block 3: John at the Poetry Corner reading from his journal to a group of rapt university freshman females seduced by his frequent enthusiastic enthusing of the word “enthuse”.

Block 4: John interviews daily guest about guest’s favourite John Mayer moments

Block 5: John calls Jennifer Aniston for a late show ratings push. They chant together.

Block 6: John composes with his eyes closed, studio audience silently worships

Fade to black.

Photos from